In the summer of 2025, I was officially diagnosed with musician's dystonia. Leading up to that point were about 10 years of slow decline in my playing, finding band-aids to patch things up that were breaking down. There were always "explanations" for what's happening, like not enough support, weak corners, overuse, etc. I got by touring and freelancing, like a broken vase patched up with duct tape all over the place, until the dam finally broke.

I have been working with Jan Kagarice and her team, retraining and gaining a clear understanding of why the dystonia happened and relearning how to play in scientifically proven functional way. I'm sharing here my thoughts from the experience. Dealing with dystonia, at least for me, was a scary and lonely experience. I held onto accounts of others for solidarity, hope, and solace. I hope my chronicles here can be the same for others who are searching.

A big fat discalimer, I am no expert and can only speak for my personal experience. My thoughts here are not meant to provide pedagogy on fixing problems. It is IMPERATIVE that you get PROPER help if you suspect any sort of imbalance in your playing. And though there are many well-intentioned people out there offering help, it is my experience that you be extremely careful about whose methods you use. As someone who tried many methods and failed until meeting Jan Kagarice, I whole-heartedly recommend you reach out to her and her team of coaches at Musician's Wellness. With all that said, if you are going through a similar experience, please feel more than free to reach out to me. Sharing and talking through your experiences out loud is a powerful tool of gaining clarity and understanding.